Reminiscent Rain Incomplete

I wrote this short story for class. There's still a lot of editing to do. This was greatly inspired by Jacob's Ladder and Silent Hill. It's still too much like a Silent Hill fanfic for my tastes, but that will change with editing. Then I hope to get this published.

~

It wasn't that I liked to dance—in fact I was horrible at it—it was that I wanted to fly. To me, this was the closest thing. I bounced, turned, and let loose. It felt good to not be controlled by anyone or anything but the rhythm of the music, and even that was merely a guide. If I wanted to twist left, I could. The beat couldn't direct that.

He could, though. I felt the will drain from my limbs as he stepped beside me and began guiding my movements so they complimented his own. I was no longer free to do as I pleased. I was used to this, though. I never should have let myself get carried away when he had stepped out.

"I had no idea you could dance so beautifully," he whispered into my ear. I shuddered, which he mistook for pleasure.

"Sorry, I got carried away," I muttered, looking down. He held me closer. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. He wasn't drunk, and it wasn't overwhelming, but it still made me uncomfortable.

"Don't apologize. I like it," he said, guiding me towards the door of the club. "Why don't we have some fun at my place? We have some time before your mother comes for my announcement." Was that supposed to be a reward? His 'announcement', which he'd been being sneaky about all week, was obnoxiously obvious. He was the perfect man, as my mother made sure to remind me at every possible opportunity. We were in our final year of college and had been together for three years. What else could his announcement be?

"Sounds great," I lied; a smile plastered on my face. It was how I made it through the time we'd been together. I felt his arm snake under my shirt and bile rose into my throat. I managed to turn my cough into a moan. He seemed appeased by this as we walked the short three blocks to his apartment. Once we were up the stairs and behind locked doors, he moved towards me. As he grabbed at my skirt, I felt heat rising to my face. I closed my eyes against the oncoming attack—or was it passion? The doorbell rang too early and he groaned, frustrated.

"We can just ignore it," he suggested, still hovering over me. I insisted he answer the door. He obeyed. I could hear my mother's voice.

My vision blurred until all I could see was white and everything was moving in fast-forward. I lost all sense of myself and what was happening. I could hear screams. Mine?

~~

I don't know how long I had been standing at the bus stop, but it was obvious that I had missed the bus. It was drizzling. I pulled an umbrella from my book bag and opened it, protecting my head from the soft downpour. I stood a few more minutes waiting, just in case. Nothing. Wherever I needed to go could wait until later I supposed. I crossed the unusually quiet street and began my way through the alumni garden. It was a shortcut to campus and usually a beautiful one. The path I walked along was brick. Each one was engraved with the name of a student who had graduated from the university. It's funny how easily their accomplishments could be converted into a simple walkway for students rushing off to classes or their social lives. My mother said it was an honor and one day I would become one of these bricks. Maybe I was already a brick.

Puddles interrupted the path. I was glad for my boots. They may not have kept my feet dry since they weren't built for rain, but they kept them warm. I couldn't say the same for my skirt or white blouse. I shivered as I exited the garden and began the long stretch back to my dorm. This road, Junction Avenue, had been barred from traffic since too many students had been hit trying to cross. It runs straight through the middle of campus and is usually the quickest way to get to most of the buildings, which were all locked by now. It was night time and the weekend so the only open buildings were the library and the dorms. The lights from the many floors of the library and the street lamps that lined this road created a dim glow that barely lit my way.

The lamp beside me suddenly flickered out. I looked around and noticed that each street light behind me went dark, one by one. The ones in front of me followed suit. I quickened my pace. What was going on? Was there a storm coming? I saw a figure in the distance. Maybe they knew what was going on.

"Hey!" I called. The figure swayed. "Hey, what's going on?" As I neared the figure, I heard a horrible squelching noise. I had never heard anything like it before. It sent shivers up my spine. I couldn't tell where it was coming from. I looked everywhere for the source before noticing the figure had gotten closer. It was most definitely not human.

I stopped in my tracks as it came closer. It reminded me of a grey hound. My boyfriend had taken joy in watching their races. The back legs sprouted up to an unnatural height. I could tell even from this distance that they would tower over me. The body of the creature twisted down to the ground in a distorted fashion. It only had one front leg which jerked randomly from time to time. Looking at the head made me gag. It was engorged and had the appearance of a sack. I doubted there was a skull in its depths. The head dragged along the ground as the creature continued towards me. I tried to run, to move, but fear rooted me to the spot.

It slowly came nearer and nearer. Then it stopped and made a horrible howling noise. It began running towards me. I screamed and ran with a speed I didn't know I could muster. Adrenaline took over as I propelled myself forward, the dog creature on my heels. It snarled and lunged forward. I fell to the ground to avoid it. The dog stumbled and fell. I pushed myself up and grabbed the umbrella I had dropped in the commotion. It stood up and rounded on me, lunging again. I didn't have time to stand. I held my umbrella in front of me, closing my eyes and braced for pain.

I heard a sharp wail. I cautioned a glance and saw that the dog had impaled itself on the metal tip of my umbrella. I didn't waste any time getting to my feet. I dropped the umbrella and ran. My dorm wasn't far away from there. The dog moaned horribly, but didn't move. I heard the same squelching noise and turned to see another in the distance coming towards me. I saw my dorm and pushed myself even harder. I flung myself at the door just as another came from the opposite side of the path and dived toward me. I stumbled inside and leaned against the door as it shook from the impact. I slumped to my knees, leaned against the door, and sobbed.

~~

I woke with a start still against the door. In my dreams, there had been a TV set on loop. Images of puppets controlled by a strict, feminine hand flashed on the screen. I stood, brushing off my skirt. In proper light, I could see that my blouse was speckled with blood. Ignoring this, as my mind didn't yet want to register what this could mean, I made my way to my dorm room just wanting to collapse into my bed and forget. I tried to open the door, but the key wouldn't go in. I tried banging on the door in hopes of waking my roommate, but to no avail.

Not wanting to go back outside, I began pounding on every door of the three story building. There was no an answer from any of them. What was going on? Had there been an evacuation? I knew I wouldn't get answers here. I walked back down the stairs to the front door and took a deep breath. I cautiously pushed the door open. Outside, it was grey and still drizzling, but there were no signs of anything supernatural.

The main building, the Ernhard Center, was on the opposite side of campus from the dorms, which made me nervous. I started down the road at a quick pace. My heart sank when, after a few steps, I saw a shape on the ground. I held my breath and crept forward. When I got closer, I noticed it was an umbrella. I let out my breath in a sigh of relief and picked it up. I inspected it. No blood, no fur, nothing to indicate that a large, monstrous creature had been attached to the end of it the night before. The cement surrounding the spot was slightly darker than usual. I held my umbrella above me and continued onward.

I felt at ease now. As strange as it was that the campus was empty and, despite the fact that the horrors of the night before still lingering in my mind, I felt light hearted to be alone. I was usually surrounded by people. Whether they were friends, other students in class, my mother, or my boyfriend, it was rare that I ever had alone time. Whenever I did manage it, I always felt rather happy. I could hum or skip or do something silly without being judged for partaking in such frivolities. I didn't have to live up to my mother's standards.

I strayed from my thoughts as I approached a large building. What the Ernhard Center lacked in height, it more than made up for with its grand appearance. It was very ornate with large pillars and magnificent, decorative windows. Staring up at it, I felt a memory wash over me.

~~

"This school isn't anything like the brochure described," my mother huffed, reproving the high windows and marble floors with a harsh glare. I stood silent at her side, regarding the building reverently. I was going to attend college here.  It was almost beyond belief. This was such a prestigious school and they had selected me due to my high grades and SAT score. It would have been a dream come true if only it were my dream.

"Stop standing there gawking. You look like you've never seen a fancy building before." My mother's voice cut through my thoughts. I stood straight and still. "That's better." She nodded her approval. "This will be your first time away from me and I can't have you forgetting your manners. Remember, you represent the Veneer family. We can't have you standing around and making a fool of yourself before you even set foot in a classroom."

"Yes ma'am." I looked forward, though I longed to look down or anywhere beside the future I was heading towards. I had wanted to major in journalism. I had wanted to go to state with my high school friends.  I had wanted…
"I trust you. You've done well so far. I know you'll continue to do so." The pride in her voice made me feel guilty for considering my own desires. Her trust and compliments spurred me towards this future and this life. Her life?

~~

I closed my umbrella as I entered the building. It dripped, leaving a trail of water. The bookstore, on my left, was closed from what I could tell, and the food court on my right was the same way. The other shops were closed for the weekend. Usually the Ernhard Center was full of students studying even on weekends, but today it was eerily abandoned.

I walked up to the help desk, which was abandoned. "Hello?" I called out, looking around to see if there was anyone about. Nothing. I rang the bell on the counter several times and waited. Once again, silence was my only reply.

I leaned against the desk, unsure of what to do next. There was obviously something odd going on and it appeared that I was the only one left to witness it. Pondering what I should do next, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned to find a little girl walking from one painting to the next along the walls. She had just stopped in front of a picture depicting the crucifixion when she spotted me. "Hello there," I called out, grateful that I had finally found another human being.

She considered me curiously, walking towards me. She had hazel eyes and nappy brown hair. Her pale skin was marked with many scrapes and bruises. I had a strong sense of déjà vu as I watched her slow movements. I walked towards her. She stepped back before turning and bolting down the hallway that connected this building to the library.

"Wait!" I called, running after her. She looked over her shoulder and, upon noticing me, quickened her pace. I followed as best I could before I finally had to stop, out of breath, watching her run past a bookcase. As she disappeared from my sight, the book case teetered and then fell to the ground, interrupting the silence with a startling crash. I crept cautiously to where the shelf has fallen. DVDs littered the floor where it fell. I noticed one of them was titled Jacob's Ladder.

My first date with him had been to see this movie at a Halloween movie showcase. I could tell that he couldn't care less about what was happening on the screen, but the film enthralled me. He would much rather have been making out, but for that moment he respected my wishes.

If only it had lasted.

~~

"Oh come on baby," he cooed, pacing back and forth, "what are you afraid of? You know I'll be gentle."

Did he seriously think those words would convince me that giving myself over to him was the best idea? Then again, he was never one for originality. Instead of responding, I focused on my roommate's clock. The bright blue numbers glowed steadily, lighting the room in an ethereal shade of ice. I suddenly felt cold.

"Babe, I'm talking to you," he looked at me impatiently. Another minute passed and the clock counted up. As much as I may have wanted time to speed past this moment, the clock made sure that I was kept painfully grounded in reality.

"Fine, don't talk. I see how it is. You can sit there in your own little world, but don't expect me to join you. You keep trying to push me away. Do you really want me gone? I just want the chance to show you how much I love you. What do you say?"

Fine. I was used to going through the motions anyways. "Show me," I whispered. He was everything she wanted. My mother had made sure to voice her surprising approval when I had introduced them. I couldn't lose him. I lay back and let him have his way. My body moved under his and he moaned my name. The whole time, I kept my gaze fixed upon the clock.

12:41, 12:42, 12:43…

~~

I placed the movie back on the floor and noticed a VHS tape. It was out of place among the smaller DVDs. I picked it up, curious as to what movie it could possibly be. Instead of the movie title, my name was printed across the front. I suddenly felt very cold. I turned, expecting to find someone watching me, but only the empty quiet met me.

I inspected the tape, turning it over in my hands. Could this tape hold the answers for my current situation? Why did it have my name on it? I stopped turning the tape and put it into my book bag. Asking questions wouldn't do me any good. I needed a place to watch this tape. The library didn't have any older electronics—another reason why the tape had piqued my interest—which left the old audio visual department in the Gyven Building. It was located across the street from the main building.

The thought of returning outside to where there may be creatures wasn't appealing, but it didn't seem I had much of a choice. Waiting here wouldn't bring me any closer to an answer.

I walked to the entrance of the library and peeked through the window of the door. I couldn't see any monsters. I opened my umbrella as I exited the building. The drizzle had grown harder while I'd been inside. I kept a steady pace, crossing over Junction Avenue on my way. The building was in my sights and I was almost there when I heard it. The squelching noise.

My blood froze as I looked around. There were a lot of trees and buildings blocking my view and the rain wasn't helping matters. I walked cautiously forward and to my relief, the sound slowly faded. I let out the breath I had been holding and continued briskly onward.

I had just reached the door when I heard an inhuman shriek. I turned quickly to see something large lumbering after me. It was not a dog. I didn't care what it was. I ran forward as fast as I could, grabbing the door knob. It didn't budge. I kept turning it franticly, hoping it was merely stuck, but it was no use. The door was locked.

I turned and saw that the lumbering figure was larger than the dog. A twisted humanoid form stumbled towards me on all fours. Perched atop it was a smaller twisted form that appeared to be holding puppet strings. I stepped away from the door and ran back towards the main building. The monster roared and I could hear it coming after me with a thudding sound that was growing closer.

I had made it back to Junction Avenue when suddenly the sky grew dark. I fell to my knees, heart in my throat. I heard a gunshot and screams. The rain was blurring my vision. It was pounding on my umbrella and blowing underneath. I felt strangely in control. The rain was dark and as the sky lightened, I noticed it was red. It was blood.

My blood curdling scream attracted several more of the monsters. They were surrounding me. I was covered in blood and shivering. The rain had become normal once more. I couldn't think straight. I scrambled to my feet and tried to run, but stumbled as my foot had hit something. Looking down, I noticed a revolver lying on the road. I picked it up and opened the chamber. To my utter dismay, it only had one bullet. I might be able to take out one of the creatures, perhaps opening a path. He had taken me to the shooting range on several dates before, so shooting wasn't unfamiliar to me.

One of the monsters lunged at me. I held up the gun and shot. The monster fell to the ground, dead. The others reacted to the noise, lunging forward. There had been only one bullet, but I kept pulling the trigger in futile hope. Each time I pulled the trigger, there was a shot and an accompanying thump as a monster hit the ground. I was beyond relief as I kept firing the guns. Their shrieks filled the air around me as I shot until they moved no more.

Once they were all disposed of, I inspected the revolver. The bullet was still there. I would have questioned it, but I didn't want to jinx my good fortune. Standing, I abandoned my umbrella so I could walk through the downpour and be washed clean. There was so much blood.

~~

There was so much blood. I couldn't see it, but I knew it was there. I lay on the table, looking at the machines hooked up to me and the machine that had just finished inside me. It was a cold, robotic nightmare full of blood and pain.

"All done," the doctor said in a tone that masked the seriousness of what had just happened. He acted as if this wasn't a nightmare I had never imagined I would be living.

"You hear that?" He sighed in relief. I nodded, not wanting to talk.

We gathered our things and he led me out the door. I was shaking uncontrollably. As we left the clinic, there were protestors. People who didn't understand thrust picket signs in my face reminding me of the mistake I had made and of the mistake I had removed from my uterus.

I felt empty, despite what these people may have thought. I missed whatever had been inside me. I also envied it. It would never have to endure a world of going through the motions in order to please those who will never be pleased no matter how hard you try. No matter the sacrifices you make.

He held me close before helping me into his car. I didn't speak. I just watched as the rain hit the windshield. I watched as the sun set and the rain slowly became blood; the blood of a child that would never be born.

~~

I was completely lost now. I had no way to watch the tape and nowhere to go. I wandered aimlessly for… hours? Days? Weeks? There was never night and there was never sun; only cloudy skies and the rain that fell relentlessly— rain that didn't wash away the blood.

I kept walking, trying the doors of various buildings, but they were all locked. There were no other people in this land, only monsters that I mercilessly slaughtered with a gun that shouldn't have been able to fire. With each downed monster, there was a memory that grew within me. Memories I had tried so hard to forget. Wandering aimlessly on this lonely college campus gave me plenty of time to reflect back on them.

My dad had left my mother. He had become fed up with not living up to her standards. He had a new wife now. She was rich, skinny, beautiful, and mentally stable; everything my mother couldn't be. I remembered the endless phone calls to my secret love which had to stop abruptly. Everything became hazy after that point until I entered college. Then, most of my memories were of him and of phone calls from my mother, making sure I was living the right way.

I passed through Briarwood, the local college town nestled right alongside campus, coming to a stop in front of Heaven's Delight. It was a night club that prided itself on giving a 'heavenly good time.' It had always been his favorite club. A memory flashed, of him on top of me, of me closing my eyes and waiting for the onslaught to end. It soon faded, leaving me feeling empty.

I tried the door of the club and—to my surprise—it was open. I entered. The lights were on and the music was so loud that it hurt my head. There was no one inside, not that I had thought there would be. The thrum of the beat was intoxicating and I couldn't help but nod my head along with it.

The music guided me to the center of the dance floor and I began to dance, forgetting the downpour and the loneliness. As I danced, I realized that despite the nightmarish state I had found myself in, I had a sadistic happiness concerning the entire situation. I was alone and uncontrolled. For once, my privacy couldn't be invaded...

The door slammed closed. I jumped, coming out of the trance the music had put me in. The little girl from before stood before me, blinking. She then turned and left back through the door. I quickly followed, but there was no sign of her. I sighed, walking back toward campus.

Hearing a scream, I ran to where the sound had come from and found one of the puppet monsters chasing her. I quickly pulled out my gun and shot it. Its body fell limply to the side. The girl stood rooted to the spot, hugging a teddy bear. "Are you okay?" I asked, kneeling so I was eye to eye with her.

I gasped, backing away from her. This girl wasn't just a random kid that had been passing through campus; she was me. She was the exact image of the pictures in our albums of happier times back when my parents saved their money so we could take a vacation together to the mountains or the beach or wherever our fancies led us. Back when I would be tucked in to bed and encouraged to become whatever I wanted and to go where my heart led.

She looked up at me with innocent eyes that didn't yet know what lie ahead for her. "Thank you," she said shyly, handing me her bear. "I have to go now."
"Wait, how is this possible?" I demanded.

"This is your mind, how am I supposed to know?" She responded without turning around, running into the rain and disappearing from sight.

"My mind?" I asked aloud, regarding the bear. Was this all happening inside my mind? How could that be? Unable to fathom an answer to the question at hand, I turned the bear over in my hands. There was a tear in his back. I pulled at it and saw something glinting from inside. I reached in and pulled it out. It was a key with a paper tied to it that read 'Agnosco veteris vestigia flamea.'

"Virgil," I muttered, remembering the line from my Latin class. I knew where the key went. I wasn't sure how I knew, but then again, if this was all taking place inside my mind, I could make this key go to whatever door I pleased and make it open. I made my way to the AV department building. There were no monsters along the way.

I reached the door, unlocked it, opened the door, and stepped inside. To my surprise, on the other side of the door was a garden courtyard. It was gorgeous. I had come to a staircase. The area next to me was raised to be even with the top few stairs. There was a wall made from large cement bricks. Square holes had been cut into these bricks and inside nearly every hole was a glass bottle of some kind. Inside each bottle was a piece of paper containing what I could only assume was another memory.

I vaguely remembered a place like this on campus. I hadn't needed to go to the AV department since freshman year. I walked down the stairs to the sitting area. The wall that bordered this area was made of glass with a few doors lining the bottom. I tried the doors. The first three were locked. I tried the fourth one and it swung inward. I stepped inside.

Shelves lined the walls. They were full of old VHS tapes. Past the shelves were a few alcoves that each contained a VCR hooked up to a TV. Students came here to watch tapes for class. I had a class where the teacher loved giving viewing assignments. I had fallen asleep in these booths many times with a documentary serving as my lullaby.

I sat down at one of the TVs and pulled the tape out of my book bag. My hands trembled as I inserted the tape. I felt cold as I waited for whatever was coming.

I watched myself being pushed onto his bed. He was removing my jacket hungrily and starting to rip at my shirt when the doorbell rang. He cursed and stood, straightening his tie. He went to the living room, telling me to fix my shirt as he left. I stood slowly, my movements jerky. I opened the drawer of his night stand where he kept his gun.

I picked it up and entered the living room. There were screams and the gun fired. I was covered in blood.

I closed my eyes, thinking of what the video made me realize.

When I opened them again, I was standing back at the bus stop. The bus pulled up and I climbed aboard. I was finally ready to face my destination.

~~~

There was blood on my hands and arms. It also covered the walls, floor, practically everything in the room, including the two bodies in the middle. I didn't scream, nor did I cry; I laughed. I felt right for the first time in a long time. I didn't have to look to know who they were, but I did anyways.

I knelt on the floor, blood seeping through my skirt and staining my knees, and turned the first body over. He stared up at me. His face in death looked more handsome than I had remembered, though perhaps that was because he couldn't talk or touch me. I closed his eyes and stood, stepping over him to kneel beside the larger body.

I didn't turn it over, nor did I touch it. I stared, expecting it to be another trick of my mind, but the body was still. This was my mother. I fiddled with the gun, as I knelt there in disbelief. She was gone and the proof of which was in front of me, but it didn't feel real.

I stood and walked back towards the bedroom to replace the gun when I heard her cackling laughter. I turned to find her sitting up and laughing at me. "Did you honestly think it would be that simple? What do you intend to do now?"

She stood and as she did, her body twisted into a most hideous shape. I looked directly at the monster my mother truly was; the monster that would always be with me, even in her death, because so much of who I am is due to how she was to me.

"There's only one way to end this," I said, raising my gun.

"You think that one bullet will hurt me?" she sneered, "You've already marked me with several and look at how well that worked."

"No," I said simply, holding the gun to my head, "It will set me free."